I didn't go in overly confident, but I felt like I knew my core content. I didn't spend 6 hours a day studying, but I reviewed at least 3 times a week since graduating and studied the week prior. I honestly felt I had as good as shot at passing today as anyone else who has graduated from nursing school.
Yeah, didn't happen.
I can sit with myself in my failure. The hardest part is knowing how many people had confidence in me and believed I could do something that I obviously didn't do. Disappointing myself is one thing, but disappointing friends, family, co-workers, bosses, teachers/instructors and my school is a bit harder to swallow and quite frankly, it sucks really *explicit word* bad.
What I would really like to do today is crawl into a hole and disappear for a little while. I know it sounds dramatic, but after 16 months of really hard work, I just wanted to feel accomplished today, and instead, I feel like a complete moron.
I know tomorrow when I go to work, I'm going to feel even worse having to look at and talk to everyone about it. But, I also know that a test cannot measure my compassion and care for others nor my determination to succeed.
So, today I will have my pity party, and beat myself up over it, and perhaps find a hole somewhere to crawl into. However, I won't pack up and stay there. I have too much left to do :) 
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